A little update from me......

Hi everyone, well I am back from the week away and yes I do feel so much better. I was able to relax and to take stock of my feelings. I had been letting the feelings go round and around in my head and it just was making me so miserable. What with losing Jasper, working and then having the work going on for the new kitchen I  suppose it was just a lot going on. The week in the sunshine was just what the doctor ordered and recharged both Barrie and my batteries. I read 4 books and we just generally had a lovely time. Yes we still had a few tears  at times but then I suppose we will for a long time.
  I was I know holding things in and I am sorry to say I found it very hard to visit blogs. This made me sad because  I so love the blog and so love all the friends we have made. I don't want to lose any of that. I will be visiting now and will try and stay in touch with what is happening. Please keep me in the loop with any auctions and fundraisers and events because I always try to join in.

 Now one last thing is I want to get off my chest and tell you about that last couple weeks  of Jasper's life. As you know he was just not eating much at all and then he would not have anything and existed on just cat milk. There was no flesh on him at all and he was just all bones and fur. We were so very worried and we knew that that time was coming. I spoke to the vet several times and went in and just spoke and cried with the vet nurse. I explained that I didn't want him to go but that  also didn't want him to be in pain and for us because he was far too important for that to happen. They said you will know when its time. The last two days were awful especially the day before. Jasper wanted to be as close to me as was possible and was pressing himself into me as though he could get inside me but he was so uncomfortable that he had to keep shifting himself to try and get comfortable a little. He would not leave me and I would not leave him. I stayed up with him in the chair and just tried to make him comfortable as I could. I knew it was time. Next morning I told Barrie that I must ring the vet, he was so upset and said must we don it yet. I said that we owed it to him and although we didn't want to we must not let him suffer. I called the vet and spoke to the lovely young man that has been there for Jasper many times, he asked me what was the nature of the visit, I couldn't speak properly and he knew and just said I understand. We hugged and loved Jasper for the last few hours and we so did not want to go but he did not know how to be comfortable at all. When we walked in we were greeted by our favourite little nurse who just said don't worry we understand. Our special vet was still not at work after his accident but Nigel the boss man was wonderful. I said I had to be sure and he said let me examine Jasper and see what I   think. He did so and said you are so right he is just so ill and he is ready to go, if he was mine I would do the same. We both held him and he was so quiet and just looked at us as if to say thank you for this. Nigel said oh bless I have only got a small amount in  and he has gone, he was so ready and now he has no pain. Nigel understood that we didn't want to make the decision but said when a cat was so terminally ill it was the only choice to make and we were giving him the last gift we could. He left us alone and said take all the time you want before leaving him.
   The next morning the phone rang and it was Alistair our vet calling from home, he had been told about Jasper and called to see how we were. I thought this was such a lovely thing to do. Alistair said please remember that you had two more years with your boy and he fought so well. Yes he was right we did.
 I just couldn't say all this before but wanted to tell you all as I wanted closure and you all understand so well. This is my closure and I thank you all for listening and being there through it all. I so appreciate that. Very much.

  Now I will show you the promised pictures of the kitchen. Before and after.
                                                           Before we had a dead corner because the built in fridge and freezer were at the end and the free standing cooker was  in the recess where the old fireplace used to be. ( very old house ) we cant move the alcove because its a retaining wall.

                   The builders did a grand job and revamped the design for us to utilise all the space. They moved the fridge to the other end and took the work surface all the way around the alcove where the fireplace was.
  

 

Then today we put back all the pictures and ornaments. It just finished it off lovely.

Remember when we has new windows we left the window and table free of everything because Jasper loved to sit there and look out. Barrie put the kitties from then unit tops on the window so they could carry on looking out.

                                              His painting looks down on us...

                                               Kitties look down from here too...

                                                        

                                                  Mum bought me this kitty many years ago...

                                               And this one.....

We love the kitchen a lot..

So a very mixed post today and now I will go and visit my friends blogs.

Take care all. Love and hugs Carol x